If you are close to me, you know that I have had a rough five months or so. That’s because I have been dealing with depression. Actually, postpartum depression to be exact. To kickoff the start of the Courtney Pies blog, I decided I would share my story.
First let’s start off with some information about postpartum depression.
What is Postpartum Depression?
Postpartum depression is depression that occurs after childbirth. Symptoms can include:
- Intense Irritability
- Loss of Appetite
- Insomnia
- Difficulty Bonding with the Baby
It is known that in the United States, about 1 in 9 mothers suffer from postpartum depression, also known as PPD. And it can affect any mom regardless of her age, marital status, number of children, income, or ethnicity.
There is no way to prevent postpartum depression, sadly. If you do already have postpartum depression, please check out Mom Genes. They are conducting a saliva test for research on postpartum depression.
Must Have Resources for Postpartum Depression:
My Postpartum Depression Story
**WARNING: THERE ARE TRIGGERS IN MY STORY**
I had my beautiful Danica Lynne on June 25, 2019. I was worried that I would get postpartum depression again since I had it with Riley 8 years ago. Boy, was I right to be worried. I couldn’t stop crying from the day she was born. I could hardly be happy. It hit me in tidal waves. It was awful.
I tried to call my doctor several times, but every time I picked up the phone I would get a tightness in my chest and my throat would feel like it was closing up. I’ve had anxiety attacks before but this was out of this world.
When I went to my 6 week postpartum visit I finally broke down and talked to them about my depression. They put me on Zoloft. I felt better. For about a month. Then October 30th rolled around.
I was having a good day up until about 6pm when all hell broke lose. Dustin and I started fighting like no other. We never fight like that. The next morning, he was at work and I was working from home and he texted me. I broke down to him. I told him I wasn’t okay. I broke down about the suicidal thoughts I was having. I wanted to run my car into a pole and hope it ended my life. I thought my children and Dustin and my family and friends would be better off without me.
Do you know what it takes to break down and tell someone that? And then having to repeat it to the nurse at the emergency room which is where I had to go after calling my doctor to tell them what I was going through. Then the emergency room sent me to a mental health facility.
I spent a week in there working on coping skills and adjusting my medicine. About a month later I’m doing a little better. I’m still working on me though. I’m still not 100%. But I’ll get there. I’m currently on 3 medications to help me and am going to talk therapy. I’ll be okay. I’m just glad to not be in that deep, dark whole that I was in in October. I thought I knew depression because I’ve dealt with it off and on my whole life, but postpartum depression is a whole different ballgame that I would never wish on my worst enemy.
If you are having suicidal thoughts, please reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
Mental Health and Wellness
I have started this new blog to raise awareness on mental health and wellness. I will be talking about coping skills, mental health, essential oils, and so much more. I hope that you will follow along and learn more.
2 thoughts on “My Postpartum Depression Story”